What is an ideal relationship?

We all have expectations for our partners. It could range from simply washing the dishes and folding laundry to expecting them to pay for every single meal on a date.

A Reddit thread posted by @TheFearlessCow asked other users to list down any ridiculous expectations their partners had set, or descriptions of ideal types they’ve heard that might seem unrealistic.

User @ahhhcurry shared about his experience with his ex.

Most users were appalled and expressed their indignance.

Others questioned whether the user’s ex wanted to enjoy a meal with him instead of having him deliver the food via Grab.

Another user @bradyso shared his experience on a date with a single mother. According to him, the single mother demanded he make top dollar for two reasons - in order to send her daughter to top schools, and so she would be able to quit her job. Aside from the obvious red flags, the user’s date never mentioned she had a daughter prior to the date.

User @whdhli also described how a friend of hers had to wear makeup for the full 24 hours in a day. “She has to sleep after her husband is asleep, and wake up before he is awake to put on makeup.” Where do such expectations come from?

Based on the Reddit thread, some users have mentioned how they grew up being exposed to such a mindset; that men should provide and women should take care of the house.

Common acceptable expectations include fetching and sending a girl home or at least waiting for her to get into her Grab, or splitting the bill on dates regardless of how long they’ve been in a relationship.

Some users mentioned that they’ve heard girls with expectations such as a six-to-seven digit annual salary, their prospective partners need to own at least one car, demand branded goods for their monthsaries, and only accept dates at high-class restaurants.

Girls on the other hand have had dates that demand them to reply to messages within ten minutes, needing them to inform them whether they’re taking a nap or answering another phone call.

These leave a warped perception of “perfect” relationships on social media, leading to an increased notion that women or men deserve such a life.

However, relationships on social media are curated for others to see, and not necessarily the truth.

Social media creates the bulk of unrealistic expectations. It has left room for single men and women to compare their expectations against the existing relationships plastered all over said apps. Drool-worthy images of an attractive couple on holiday in Bali might trigger feelings of envy, which in turn can keep people from appreciating the present. Psychotherapist and host of The Deeper Dating podcast, Ken Page, explains that “social media tends to ignore the gritty and mundane parts of a couple’s lives such as chores, compromise, and daily struggles.”

In summary, expectations should be kept within the ‘need’ basis; focusing on what a relationship needs, rather than aspiring to be a picture-perfect couple that everyone envies.