Harith Iskander’s post on parenting was collectively slammed by netizens as they deem it to be harsh. The Facebook post has since gone viral with over 700 shares, many discussing the effect of such parenting.
In the post, Harith explained that his son Zander logged out of his online lesson 10 minutes earlier because he “had enough”. His teacher called the parents to update them on the incident. Harith then decided that his wife, Dr Jezamine, should discipline Zander instead as she said that his style was overly harsh.
“So yesterday – when his teacher called us to say that Zander had ‘exited’ his e-learning Maths class 10mins after it started and refused to come back in – I said “Mummy, since you think I am ‘too harsh’, you handle this” -Harith Iskandar
However, what happened next wasn’t expected by Harith or his son as Zander was asked to pack his belongings and “thrown out” of the house by Jezamine.
According to Harith, Zander packed a few shirts, his favourite shoes and left the house with his bike. Harith jokingly added that he had no idea where Zander was going to go in the middle of the night.
Perhaps the sad dejected look on Zander’s face triggered the emotional heartstrings of netizens as they debated in the comments section. One considered the discipline as a form of public humiliation that will be detrimental to the child’s emotional well being in the future.
One thought that their style of parenting is rather abusive and called them out on it.
Harith however disagreed, saying that a timeout is far from being abusive and definitely not comparable to “tough Asian love” parenting.
There are those who agreed with him but they believed that it should not have been documented on social media.
Explaining the consequences is always important.
Some shared their own experiences with such forms of discipline.
Punishing the child hurts the parents and caregivers too.
At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong to parenting. Parents are learning as they go on but perhaps, certain things are better left off social media.
Reporter’s Opinions: The kid got balls, I’ll give him that. If I was asked to pack my things and leave the house at his age, I would have begged my mother to forgive me.
Perhaps that was the idea behind Jezamine’s punishment but when Zander decided to obey, she had no choice but to stick through with what she said. This is to ensure that her authority remains credible and gives no room for the children to exploit and manipulate.
Frankly, there is no right or wrong way when it comes to parenting. Parents are learning as they raise mini humans. Excessive corporal punishments are frowned upon especially when it borders on abuse but the rest, has its own pros and cons.
Raising a child with soft parenting and teaching them to understand consequences can raise either an emotionally aware adult or a manipulative one. Raising a child on a diet of authoritative parenting can raise a rebellious adult with anger issues or a mentor with leadership qualities.
What matters is balance. You can spare the rod but you need to replace the physical pain with something else that is as effective.
Those who don’t agree that pain is a good teacher and motivator, that’s your prerogative. If you tell me that you don’t learn better when you touch a hot kettle about the dangers of being stupidly curious, you’re lying. Regardless of how many times you’ve been told, as long as you don’t touch and feel it for yourself, you won’t learn.
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